Why Puppies Shouldn't Be Allowed To Read
Puppy is sitting on the floor, reading a book titled "The Human Body". (Books..heheh..books..) Presently, he is looking at a chapter called "Organs".
Puppy: Ooo..(flips pages) Interesting...
Suddenly, he stumbles onto a very interesting word..
Puppy: Liver?
Puppy recalls what Beanbag had said to him.
Beanbag: You continue wiping your face on me, and i'll squeeze your liver out.
Puppy: Woooo..(in deep thought) Let's see.. If a driver is a person who drives.. Then a liver is.. A person who..lives?
Puppy is stunned.
Puppy: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HAVE A LIVER INSIDE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donkey trots along.(dumdeedum)
Donkey: Hey! What's happening?
Puppy: I HAVE A LIVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donkey: That's cool, I have one too!!
Puppy: Don't you know what a liver is?????
Donkey: Er, no?
Puppy: IT IS A PERSON WHO LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donkey: (pause)So it is.
pause
Puppy and Donkey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WE'VE GOT LIVERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Run about madly
Shhk shhhk: Beanbag enters
Beanbag: What's going on?
Puppy and Donkey: WE'VE GOT LIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beanbag: Yeah, doesn't everybody?
Puppy and Donkey: (looks at each other) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WE'VE GOT TO WARN EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they run off.
Beanbag: Sigh. They are soo stupid.
Puppy and Donkey are talking to each other.
Puppy: Oh! Oh! I feel something!
Donkey: Wait! Don't tell me......Is it your LIVER?
Puppy: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I think it is!!!!
Donkey: Wait! Let me hear it! (puts ear at puppy's stomach--bombom..bombom)
Puppy: Well do you hear anything?
Donkey: YES!!! I HEAR SOMETHING!! I HEAR YOUR LIVER!!
Puppy: AHHHH WHAT IS MY LIVER DOING???
Donkey: IT SEEMS TO BE KNOCKING AT YOU!!
Puppy: Knocking at me? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LIVER IS KNOCKING AT ME!!!!!!!!
Donkey: Wait! Wait! Hear mine!!
Puppy: (bends down to hear--bombom..bombom)I HEAR SOMETHING TOO!!!!!!!!! IT'S KNOCKING AT YOU!!!!!
pause
Puppy and Donkey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR LIVERS ARE KNOCKING AT US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beanbag enters in
Beanbag: Now what's going on again?
Puppy: Wait! Let me hear you! (bends down to hear--shhhhkk..plop)
Donkey: How is it? How is it?
Puppy: His liver sounds really weird! Come and hear!
Both puppy and donkey bend down to hear beanbag's "liver"
Donkey: YES! It sounds very odd!!!!
Puppy: It does, doesn't it??
Beanbag: Those are just my beans. I don't have a liver.
Puppy and donkey look at each other
Donkey: Then we were worrying for nothing! (Grins) We're happy for you, beanbag!
Puppy: (pats beanbag) Yep!
Puppy and donkey walk off
Beanbag: Well, it's not as if I need one.
Puppy and Donkey are reading the book.
Puppy: You see! You see! We do have a liver!!!!
Donkey: Yes!! I believe you now!!
Puppy: You mean you didn't at first?
Donkey: Er, no, I didn't mean that.
Puppy: What did you mean?
Donkey: (flips the page)Oh, look! (gasps)
Puppy: What? What??
Donkey: We've got a..BRAIN!!!!!
Puppy: A BRAIN? WHAT'S THAT????!!
Donkey: IT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD!!!!!!!!!!
Puppy and Donkey runs to Beanbag.
Puppy: BEANBAG!!! BEANBAG!!!!
Beanbag: Now what?
Donkey: WE'VE GOT A BRAIN!!!! WE'VE GOT A BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Puppy: OH that word brings me such pain!!!!
Donkey: OUCH! YES! Wait, let me try again.. BRAIN!
Puppy: OUUCHHH!!!
Donkey: YEOWCH I feel it too!!!
Beanbag: If it hurts both of you, then stop saying it!
Donkey: NOOO!!!!
Beanbag: Why not?
Donkey: Because we've got a BRAIN!!!!!!!!!
Puppy and Donkey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Runs off, screaming hysterically
Beanbag: And useless ones at that.
The End!
The Big White Thing
The penguins are having a birthday celebration for dear little guinnie, a 5 year old penguin.
guinnie: Wow! an ice-cream cake! thanks mommy!
mother: You're welcome!
guinnie: I mean, i'm really really really really happy! i'm sooo happy to have this ice cream cake! no..wait, i mean, i love ice-cream cakes! er, wait, what do i mean?
mother: Shut up and eat.
guinnie: Aw, mommy, i haven't finished speaking!
All of a sudden, something big and white drops down through the glass ceiling.
CRASH!
Penguins pause.
penguins look at the ceiling, at the big white thing, and at each other.
penguins: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THERE'S A HOLE IN THE CEILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins scurry around in fear
penguin 3: AHHHHHH a knocker a knocker!!!!
penguin 2: that was soo yesterday.
penguin 3: ok..then..AHHHHHHHHH a Crasher a Crasher!!!
penguin 2: can't you have a little more originality?
bwt (big white thing): (gets out of the icey water) uh, hi!
penguins turn around to look at bwt.
penguin 1: what are you?
bwt: uh, i-
penguin 2: where do you come from?
bwt: let's see, uh-
penguin 3: why are you here?
penguin 4: how did you get here?
penguin 5: hmm, what, where, why, how....
bwt: you missed out the Who.
penguin 5: oh yeah! Who exactly are you?
bwt: i'm sorry, but can you all ask the questions again? i seem to have forgotten them.
guinnie: (climbs up onto bwt's leg) why did you destroy my birthday celebration?? it's my birthday and i got an ice-cream cake! you ruined everything!!!!
bwt: oh, it's your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
guinnie: (smiles happily) thanks!! i'm so glad that you r-
bwt: Ah-ah-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins are blown off their feeties
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WE'RE FLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIINNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
-pauses-
penguin 2: oh, we are?
-pauses again-
penguin 2: oh!!!!! WE'RE FLYYYINNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!
penguins: (cheer)For he's a jolly good feeeeellow! For he's a jolly good feeeellow!
(Can't they be more original?)
SLAM!!!!!
penguins are slammed onto the glass wall
penguin 2: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE NOT FLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 3: Pluck your feathers! Pluck your feathers! Let's make the big white thing sneeze again!!
penguins: (plucks their feathers desperately, til they have no more.)
penguins: (shiver) OOoooooOoo we're Soooooo colddd!!!! (chatter chatter)
bwt: (covers eyes with paw) aaaahhhhhh I can't see!! I can't see! They are..
fish: in the NUDE!
fishie: can't you be more direct?
fish: Okay, they are n.. Wait, let me try again. They are n.. They are n..na..n-na.. AHHHHHHH i can't say it!!!!!!!!
fishie: They are NAKED!!
penguins: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE ARE NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (scurry about madly)
puppy comes in whistling, beanbag shhks in.
As they see the madness in the penguin place, they are astonished.
beanbag: (shhk shhk) what...what in the world..?
puppy: what the f-
beanbag: (spits an ice cube at him) Stuff it. Underaged people are listening.
donkey: (runs towards the glass in total excitement) wooo hooo knocking time!!!!
donkey crashes through the glass
CRASH!
penguins: (pause)(looks at donkey) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA INTRUDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 3: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A CRASHER A CRASHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 2: Can't you just be more original?
penguin 3: (getting frustrated) Can't you just shut your mouth for once?
penguin 2: (shocked) What did you just say??
penguin 3: I said, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
A CRASHERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins: (scream and scurry around)
beanbag and puppy steps through the hole donkey made.
beanbag: stupid peengoons.
puppy: stupid? Heheh..stupid..heheh..
beanbag: BAh you're so stupid.
puppy: heheh..heheh..
bwt: (about to sneeze) ahh..aHH..ahhHHhhhh..
penguin 4: (turn around) ooh! hey fellas! He's gonna sneeze!!!!!
penguins: (cheer) He's gonna sneeze! He's gonna sneeeeeeze!!!!!!!!
cheerleader penguins: (waves about pompoms)*in bimbotic voices* Go big white thing! Go big white thing!
bwt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................
penguins: (waiting breathlessly)
bwt: (picks up beanbag) choo
beanbag: YUCK!
bwt: (takes a piece of tissue and wipes nose) I'm sorry. (sniffs) It's just my donkey flu.
donkey: Donkey flu? (confused)
penguins: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..(sighs/boo/ahh/sad)
puppy: (laughs at beanbag) Hahaha, tissue paper!
beanbag: SHADDUP!!!!
tourists gather at the penguin place
guy angmoh (am) tourist: oooo, wat's zees? Zhe shi she me? Notice that i am bilingual. (winks)
girl am tourist 1: *rolls eyes*
girl am tourists: This is sooo interesting!!!!/The puppy is sooo cute!!/No the beanbag is cuter!/What is the donkey doing there?/Ahhh there is a hole!/Can we go in?/CALL THE ZOOKEEPER!!!!
zookeeper: %$#@! ok, what has happened? (all of a sudden, he sees the bwt.)
Touching music plays
zookeeper: Mimo?
bwt: (gasp) Mummy?
zookeeper: i'm a guy.
bwt: (slaps mouth) oops, sorry.
[director: excuse me, that's so anticlimax. DID YOU MEMORISE YOUR LINES??!!!!]
bwt: sorry! sorry! i mean, DADDY??
zookeper: (runs towards bwt) MIMO!!!!!!!!
bwt: (runs towards zookeeper) DADDEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
bwt: (hugs)awww, i miss you!
guinnie: i miss you too! well, not exactly, but i'm feeling rather happy today, so i'm okay with you hugging me. By the way, did I mention that today's my birthday? Did you bring a pres-
mother: (angry look) guinnie!
bwt: (looks at guinnie) W-w-wa? (turns around to see zookeeper behind)
[director: YOU OVERSHOT!!!!!]
bwt: sorry! sorry!
[director: %$@*^! i should have known not to hire foreign workers.]
bwt: (turns around and runs towards zookeeper) DADDDEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they hug each other.
penguins: awwwwww.../how swweeeettt.../that's so gross./COool!/aaaahhhhhhh
puppy: (sobsob)(wipes face on beanbag) somebody hug me..
beanbag: You continue wiping your face on me, and i'll squeeze your liver out.
puppy: (backs off) okay, okay!
donkey: now that's what i call the happiest ending! (grins)
-----THE END-----
Tragedy Of The Knocker
Sign: Please do not knock on the glass. Knocking causes stress to the penguins.
Beanbag shhks in, puppy trots in, donkey skips in (yee hahh!).
donkey: hey, look at the sign!
puppy: what sign?
beanbag: ah, whatever.. (knocks on the glass-shhkkk)
Penguins are currently relaxing in the water.
penguin: hey, what's that sound?
penguin1: oh, it's probably the water.
penguin: oh, that's so lovely!!
Puppy climbs onto beanbag and knocks.
puppy: (paw paw)
penguin: hey, what's that sound now?
penguin1: oh, it's probably the fishes in the water.
penguin: that's even lovelier!!
Donkey knocks.
donkey: (tong tong)
penguin: now what's that?
penguin1: oh, it's probably the rocks in the water.
penguin: ah, i see.
[pause]
penguin and penguin1 turns to look at the beanbag, puppy and donkey, and a hole in the glass.
penguin and penguin1: AHHHHH!!!!! a knocker!!! a knocker!!!
All the penguins scurry around in all directions.
penguin 2: Help!! We're melting!! We're melting!!
penguin 3: no, we're not.
penguin 2: ok fine, then, HELP!! I'm melting!! I'm melting!!
penguin 3: no, you're not.
penguin 2:(glares at penguin 3)Cant you just imagine??
[pause]
penguin 3: HELP!! you're melting!! you're melting!!
penguin 4: (steps in) no, he's not.
penguin 3: now can't you just have an imagination?
penguin 4: oh look!
penguin 2: (falling into the ice) ahhhh heeeelppp!!!
penguin 4: he's melting!!!! (other penguins pause and looks at penguin 2)
penguins: AHHHHHHHHHH (scurries around again)
Penguins are mourning for the penguin 2(he froze in a block of ice).
Puppy presents the gravestone he just carved to the late penguin 2 (sob sob).
Gravestone: R.I.P. peengoon 2 (puppy doesn't know how to spell), the peengoon who had too strong an imagination.
Donkey looks at peinguin 2 and knocks on the glass again.
penguin 2: (awakes and breaks out of the ice and glass) HELP!! a knocker!! a knocker!!
Penguins: He's alive!! he's alive!!!
Penguins carry donkey.
penguins: for she's a jolly good fellow! (singing)
penguin 2: hey, don't you know that there's a knocker??!
[pause]
penguins: (scurries everywhere, drops donkey [ouch!]) AHHHHHHHH A KNOCKER!!! A KNOCKER!!!!!!!!
This story was made on the spur of the moment (whatever that means). It started when avian thought about the sign at the penguin's place. Yep!!
