Peengoon Stories

The Big White Thing

The penguins are having a birthday celebration for dear little guinnie, a 5 year old penguin.
guinnie: Wow! an ice-cream cake! thanks mommy!
mother: You're welcome!
guinnie: I mean, i'm really really really really happy! i'm sooo happy to have this ice cream cake! no..wait, i mean, i love ice-cream cakes! er, wait, what do i mean?
mother: Shut up and eat.
guinnie: Aw, mommy, i haven't finished speaking!
All of a sudden, something big and white drops down through the glass ceiling.
CRASH!
Penguins pause.
penguins look at the ceiling, at the big white thing, and at each other.
penguins: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THERE'S A HOLE IN THE CEILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins scurry around in fear
penguin 3: AHHHHHH a knocker a knocker!!!!
penguin 2: that was soo yesterday.
penguin 3: ok..then..AHHHHHHHHH a Crasher a Crasher!!!
penguin 2: can't you have a little more originality?
bwt (big white thing): (gets out of the icey water) uh, hi!
penguins turn around to look at bwt.
penguin 1: what are you?
bwt: uh, i-
penguin 2: where do you come from?
bwt: let's see, uh-
penguin 3: why are you here?
penguin 4: how did you get here?
penguin 5: hmm, what, where, why, how....
bwt: you missed out the Who.
penguin 5: oh yeah! Who exactly are you?
bwt: i'm sorry, but can you all ask the questions again? i seem to have forgotten them.
guinnie: (climbs up onto bwt's leg) why did you destroy my birthday celebration?? it's my birthday and i got an ice-cream cake! you ruined everything!!!!
bwt: oh, it's your birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
guinnie: (smiles happily) thanks!! i'm so glad that you r-
bwt: Ah-ah-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins are blown off their feeties
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WE'RE FLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIINNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
-pauses-
penguin 2: oh, we are?
-pauses again-
penguin 2: oh!!!!! WE'RE FLYYYINNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!
penguins: (cheer)For he's a jolly good feeeeellow! For he's a jolly good feeeellow!
(Can't they be more original?)
SLAM!!!!!
penguins are slammed onto the glass wall
penguin 2: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE NOT FLYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 3: Pluck your feathers! Pluck your feathers! Let's make the big white thing sneeze again!!
penguins: (plucks their feathers desperately, til they have no more.)
penguins: (shiver) OOoooooOoo we're Soooooo colddd!!!! (chatter chatter)
bwt: (covers eyes with paw) aaaahhhhhh I can't see!! I can't see! They are..
fish: in the NUDE!
fishie: can't you be more direct?
fish: Okay, they are n.. Wait, let me try again. They are n.. They are n..na..n-na.. AHHHHHHH i can't say it!!!!!!!!
fishie: They are NAKED!!
penguins: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE ARE NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (scurry about madly)

puppy comes in whistling, beanbag shhks in.
As they see the madness in the penguin place, they are astonished.
beanbag: (shhk shhk) what...what in the world..?
puppy: what the f-
beanbag: (spits an ice cube at him) Stuff it. Underaged people are listening.
donkey: (runs towards the glass in total excitement) wooo hooo knocking time!!!!
donkey crashes through the glass
CRASH!
penguins: (pause)(looks at donkey) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA INTRUDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 3: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A CRASHER A CRASHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguin 2: Can't you just be more original?
penguin 3: (getting frustrated) Can't you just shut your mouth for once?
penguin 2: (shocked) What did you just say??
penguin 3: I said, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
A CRASHERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
penguins: (scream and scurry around)

beanbag and puppy steps through the hole donkey made.
beanbag: stupid peengoons.
puppy: stupid? Heheh..stupid..heheh..
beanbag: BAh you're so stupid.
puppy: heheh..heheh..
bwt: (about to sneeze) ahh..aHH..ahhHHhhhh..
penguin 4: (turn around) ooh! hey fellas! He's gonna sneeze!!!!!
penguins: (cheer) He's gonna sneeze! He's gonna sneeeeeeze!!!!!!!!
cheerleader penguins: (waves about pompoms)*in bimbotic voices* Go big white thing! Go big white thing!
bwt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................
penguins: (waiting breathlessly)
bwt: (picks up beanbag) choo
beanbag: YUCK!
bwt: (takes a piece of tissue and wipes nose) I'm sorry. (sniffs) It's just my donkey flu.
donkey: Donkey flu? (confused)
penguins: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..(sighs/boo/ahh/sad)
puppy: (laughs at beanbag) Hahaha, tissue paper!
beanbag: SHADDUP!!!!
tourists gather at the penguin place
guy angmoh (am) tourist: oooo, wat's zees? Zhe shi she me? Notice that i am bilingual. (winks)
girl am tourist 1: *rolls eyes*
girl am tourists: This is sooo interesting!!!!/The puppy is sooo cute!!/No the beanbag is cuter!/What is the donkey doing there?/Ahhh there is a hole!/Can we go in?/CALL THE ZOOKEEPER!!!!
zookeeper: %$#@! ok, what has happened? (all of a sudden, he sees the bwt.)
Touching music plays
zookeeper: Mimo?
bwt: (gasp) Mummy?
zookeeper: i'm a guy.
bwt: (slaps mouth) oops, sorry.
[director: excuse me, that's so anticlimax. DID YOU MEMORISE YOUR LINES??!!!!]
bwt: sorry! sorry! i mean, DADDY??
zookeper: (runs towards bwt) MIMO!!!!!!!!
bwt: (runs towards zookeeper) DADDEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
bwt: (hugs)awww, i miss you!
guinnie: i miss you too! well, not exactly, but i'm feeling rather happy today, so i'm okay with you hugging me. By the way, did I mention that today's my birthday? Did you bring a pres-
mother: (angry look) guinnie!
bwt: (looks at guinnie) W-w-wa? (turns around to see zookeeper behind)
[director: YOU OVERSHOT!!!!!]
bwt: sorry! sorry!
[director: %$@*^! i should have known not to hire foreign workers.]
bwt: (turns around and runs towards zookeeper) DADDDEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they hug each other.
penguins: awwwwww.../how swweeeettt.../that's so gross./COool!/aaaahhhhhhh
puppy: (sobsob)(wipes face on beanbag) somebody hug me..
beanbag: You continue wiping your face on me, and i'll squeeze your liver out.
puppy: (backs off) okay, okay!
donkey: now that's what i call the happiest ending! (grins)
-----THE END-----

posted by hosadonkey @ 10:55 PM